In general I am finding my anxiety levels over deadlines and daily requirements less onerous and even look forward to them. One thing I caught myself doing was racing through them as though all that matters is that I can tick off the to do list. Thankfully, my subby helped me out after only two or three times with “do it now”.
I have heard that I should use a dictionary, that the exact meaning of words is vitally important (paraphrased), but what the heck, I’ll just get through the daily tasks and go through the material thoroughly later on. You are right if you are thinking, “You didn’t write it down.” And, true to my (old) form, it wasn’t written, and it didn’t happen last week.
Well here is the difference in Week 2.
Several times this week I caught myself walking with a spring in my step and noticed how much easier it was to walk. I hadn’t had physio, and yes, I use a foot massage machine, but this has been for 5 or 6 weeks now. Perhaps,, I thought to myself, “It’s the MKE kicking in. What a bonus!
The first two times I read through MKE Part 2 I read the text, just as I had in Week 1. This is what I jotted down on Tuesday:
Today I decided to it now. As I read through the lesson for Week 2, I came across the word rushlight. And what did I do. I rushed past it. Maybe a few words into the second sentence after it. Normally, I was happy to just accept that I get the gist of it to get the reading out of the way.
After promising myself “to do it now” I leant over my desk to pick out my old copy of a World Book Dictionary from the third shelf down. This simple act of looking up one word made such a difference. It illuminated my understanding and internally, I was jumping out of my skin. It works! I even indulged in a little fist pumping.
So here’s my commitment to myself. Even though I will read with enthusiasm, I won’t rush through as though it was a chore. I will read with awareness and demand that I have 100% understanding of the meaning of every word.
Just as each one of you is vitally important to the shift of consciousness taking place, so too is the meaning of every word to my own growth.