I’ve struggled with my Definite Major Purpose for 3 weeks now and I have still not read it once. I’ve successfully managed to procrastinate by wanting things to be so right I didn’t make a mistake. I’ve been frozen, scared and ashamed of myself for what I think others can do easily. This is an internal struggle that I have not been dealing with.
The same disquiet has been highlighted back to me, not only in my inner world with table tennis, but in the way I perform. It has been a very embarrassing week. Not able to hit the ball. Hitting the ball with the edge rather than the blade of the bat. Hitting the ball back into the net. Popping the ball back with an unintentional 1 metre arc, which most of the time lands off the table. I was looking for ways to run, somewhere to hide.
I still think and talk about my potential as if I was that 17-year-old again prior to a 42-year hiatus from the game. After two months of pulling weeds and transforming the landscape of my new abode, my fingers, hands, wrists, and arms are so, so tired. And, this is compounded by years of injury with no bodywork. All in all, my body is tight and moves slowly.
The local club has many experienced and dedicated players who can consistently hit the ball with speed and touch on both sides of their body. I tried using a different grip (It’s never too late to learn) and with all things new there are ups and downs.
Here’s the thing. I decided to opt into competition two nights in a row. I thought to myself “Play left-handed on Monday and right-handed on Tuesday.” For a first time effort, I was really out of my league. Over time, perhaps, there could be some improvement, but I sense that my physical restriction on my right arm and hands limits my ability to compete no matter how long I trained.
Later that night this thought came to my head, “Give up being right.”
What an answer to my mastermind dilemma and a practical way to get new evidence of its wisdom. So after struggling within myself and in table tennis constantly, changing between playing right- and left-handed, I have decided (Yippee!!)… the decision to learn to play the game left-handed and to thoroughly enjoy the experience.
It may not be right, but I am giving my DMP revision my best shot today.